Aoshi's How To Get A Guy
by Misosoup31
Summary: This story about Aoshi and how he is totally in love with Kenshin... (Cuz he's so cool)


**Step I: Get His Attention.  
  
**Aoshi paced shirtless outside the dojo. Every few minutes, Kaoru poked her head nervously out the window.  
  
"Keeeenshin, he's still there!"  
  
Kenshin looked up from his sweeping. Smiling, he said, "You should just ignore him that you should "  
  
Outside, Aoshi's eyes narrowed.  
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**Step 2: Really get his attention  
**  
Aoshi sat in his his home, the Aoshi Love Hut (otherwise known as the Scary Shack Outside Tokyo), and pondered his dilemma. He needed to get Kenshin to pay attention to him. What he really needed was a way to get Kenshin over to the Scary Shack-- er, Love Hut. The only way he knew how to do that was challenge the redhead to a duel that would leave them both sweaty and shirtless. If Aoshi could cackle evilly, he would  
  
He decided to ask his good friend Misao for help. Even if her own love life didn't seem to be going that well. At first she had balked at the idea of helping her Aoshi-sama woo Himura, but then she realized she would get to spend more time with Aoshi. Perhaps he would be very grateful for her help...  
  
Aoshi: Misao, to show my gratitude, I shall made passionate love to you  
  
Misao: Oh, Aoshi-sama!  
Misao giggled  
  
Aoshi continued to ponder. He knew he looked very pleasant when he pondered. Misao agreed. I need to challenge Battousai. 'You killed my--' No, that won't work. 'You kicked my kitten.' Battousai doesn't kick kittens. If he ever kicked a kitten, he would probably say, 'Oh, no, I will punish myself!' I wonder if he'd let me punish him... Heh heh...  
Misao was not amused. Clearing her throat, she asked, Exactly why do you like him?  
  
I can appreciate beauty and strength in the same package.  
  
Snorting, Misao said, Who are you, Sanosuke?  
  
Both burst out laughing. After a few long moments, Misao calmed down and wiped a tear from her eye  
  
So, what, are you, like, gay or something? she asked  
  
Aoshi frowned. I told you, Misao, don't say gay, say special  
  
Riiight. Special  
  
An idea struck Aoshi. I know, I'll kidnap Kaoru.  
  
Oh, gee, Misao said. That's original.  
  
All I need to do is get him here, to the--  
  
Misao rolled her eyes. Moldy, rotting shack?  
  
Aoshi Love Hut, Aoshi retorted.  
  
Whatever.  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Kaoru stood idly outside the dojo, supervising Kenshin and Yahiko. Standing right outside the gate, Aoshi tied a string around a yen and tossed it at her.  
She spotted the money. Hey, look  
  
As she bent to pick it up, Aoshi tugged on the string. She followed. Aoshi continued to do this until she stood beside him.  
  
Oh, hello, Aoshi-sa--  
  
Aoshi threw a large sack over Kaoru head and then tossed both her and the sack over his shoulder. There came a muffled scream and struggling from inside the sack. He hit it. The sack went limp  
  
Oops, he said dryly  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
As he was leaving, Sanosuke approached the dojo. He and Aoshi narrowed their eyes at each other. Sano noticed the legs dangling out of Aoshi's bag.  
  
Aoshi nodded at him as he passed. Carry on.  
  
When Sano found Kenshin, the red-headed man was panicked. Sano, he asked, where's Miss Kaoru  
  
Sano frowned. So that's what Aoshi had in that bag! ... What's for dinner?  
  
Kenshin face vaulted  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Back in Aoshi's Love Hut, things weren't going so smoothly. Kaoru was as loud as she was annoying. Every time she screamed, Misao kicked her, which only caused her to scream more.  
  
I can only take so much of this, Misao grumbled.  
  
Aoshi stood by the window. He's coming. I can feel it.  
  
No, you can't!  
  
Misao, don't question  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
5 minutes later: Hes coming  
10 minutes later: Hes coming  
15 minutes later: Hes----  
  
Misao: SHUT UP!  
  
Suddenly, Aoshi spotted a small, red-headed form in the distance  
  
I see him! I knew our bond was strong! Nothing can come between us!  
  
Misao: Uh-huh, whatever  
  
Aoshi grabbed his sword with one hand, and, with the other, tore open his shirt and messed up his hair, making himself delightfully rumpled  
  
Misao tried not to drool.  
  
Misao: Oooh... Well, maybe they'll let me watch  
  
Outside, Kenshin studied the run-down shack  
  
Kenshin: Aoshi Shinomori lives... here? Oro?  
  
He poked the shack with the butt of his sakaba. The walls wobbled a bit before falling over. Misao gasped. Aoshi stood there in shock. Kenshin stepped past them both, grabbed the bag 'o' Kaoru, and walked back to the dojo.  
  
Aoshi: Wait! We're suppose to be sweaty and shirtless!  
  
Kenshin didn't stop.   
Aoshi: Dammit.  
  
Misao: Man, I didn't even get to watch


End file.
